Monday, June 04, 2007

Witch of them is her?

Thought for the day
Witches aren't women riding on brooms, they are folks who need help with the stick that's stuck up their ass so deep that you can see it from the front too.
Bitches, are their evil twins.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Is the Old Cow theory is all Bull?

Brothers and sisters, you remember the movie above, don't you? Is the Old Cow theory true?

Do men really get tired of women once they're done with the mating game?

Since this differs on a case-to-case basis, further answers can be given only after playing the game with each of the players.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Borat: Sexual learnings on a feminism

Elder Brother: Mr. Borat, Welcome to the Anti-Agony show. Why do feminists look like my uncle?

Borat: No, I bega pardone. They looka like MY grand uncle's anus. My grand uncle, Meesta Harddon Bolsquash, No.2 Rapist in Kazakhstan, alwaysa harvests pubic hair upon his anus that when he makes the shita, it is difficulta to tella him apart from the feminists.

*shows an upside down low angle picture of an old man's hairy bottom*

Elder Brother: Does your government scientist, Dr. Yamak, have any theories on why this striking similarity?

Borat: (shakes head) Yes very much. Dr. Yamaka spent many a ours studying my uncle's anus when he make the shit (yes, ith was smeelly smeelly for long and then he geta used to ith) and found the shit very similar to elements found in woman brain which is size of squirrel. That is whya ith is illegal in Kazhakstan to practice feminism becausa ith is considered brain drain when womana shit goes down the sheet-pot. When it appears on paper, ith becomes toilet paper. Dr.Yamaka says Feminism, like dysentry, is a diseasa where what comes out of anus also come out of woman mouth. So man does not make kiss with such woman and he go to the prostitute.

Elder Brother: I see. And how did this movement begin?

Borat: After the fotographa of my grand uncle Meesta Bolsquash's hairy anus came on front page of the Kazhak Mirror, womans with IQ of squirrel shit (none) also known as feminists (all who nevera evera make the sexy time with the man), found out that they don't need mirror to look at their face. Hence, they began to hunth for a identitty and found that to look like the No.1 prostitutes, they needed some woman-like quality. When they go to eat from garbage bin in a group, few woman who read (because her English teacher make a sexy time with her when she littlah) half torn page of the greath porno mag from the US and A, Cusmapolitan, (with a fotograpa of the Pamela Andersons, which I use to make hand party) learnt the word Feminism.

Elder Brother: Feminism is about the equality of the sexes and not about the similarity. Don't you think so? That men and women, though equal, are different. Saying the contrary is a grossly incorrect gender generalisation.

Borat: (Nods) No, I not agree. It is not possible. Women brain size of squirrel. Government scientist Dr.Yamak has proved it. If you not believa, you can compare face of feminista with my grand uncle's anus.

Elder Brother: *Examines picture* Oh, boy!

Friday, February 09, 2007


Once in a while, nostalgia drives home a point. And rarely, Elder Brothers gets a little serious and sentimental. Here's a post from his secret blog from the past.

Thankfully, this phase is well behind him and he's got more than what he ever wanted.

So, this goes out to all you guys who are just into a relationship. Don't worry about the labels. Now is not the time.

"In the last two years, ever since I gave up on a soap-operatic semi-dysfunctional relationship that lasted over half a decade, I have got to know about a dozen women, each of whom, I've had the dubious distinction of going out for a few weeks, extending to a maximum of three months.

"They were not relationships," argues my present "I-don't-know-what-to-call-this-or-where-to-slot-this-more-than-friendship-we-have" friend.

Hmmm... so I wonder: Is it really important to slot every bond we make into someplace or something? Don't relationships define themselves with time? I think most boy-girl friendships have potential to be relationships if pursued with an open mind and most girlfriend-boyfriend relationships are prone to failure even under commitment. So isn't it futile trying to slot them anyway when more or less all relationships are work-in-progress?

I've seen relationships turn to lasting friendships and friendships turn to solid relationships in a matter of time. A lot of the women I went out with are now either married or getting there and I like the fact that I can be friends with them and laugh about the twists that life had introduced to us.

So, does everything need to have a meaning? I think labels and terms give relationships a very transactional feel. I think slots, classifications and meanings are to show you mean business. And commitment seems like some sort of a memorandum of understanding!

Words, words, words. When all that they can express and more can be communicated by touch, by one simple hug and one tender kiss, in just a moment!

Can't we just ban words from relationships and just let people be? Happy, that is!"

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

How to become a Feminist?

Happy New Year everyone.

A reader writes in to ask how she could become a feminist.

What kinda feminist, sister?

There are the real ones that actually take some action (like yours truly in this video) and there are some who just like to wear the feminist-tag (like yours truly again). He he!

First, here's a question: Why would you want be known as a feminist? Let's examine the political correctness of the need for such a word. In an era when we are pushing for an inclusive society where even the differently-abled are treated with the same sort of respect as anybody else (the larger idea being that one should NOT discriminate between the abled and the differently abled) why discriminate between men and women? Men and women are no different from each other right? They are? You mean men and women are built differently, think differently and may have different sensibilities? Exactly!

If you still don't get the point, here's a simple do-it-yourself towards becoming a feminist.

First, believe you have balls between your legs. Tell yourself that women and men are the same. Since you are out to prove men and women have exactly the same tastes, you could take up smoking, drinking, pornography, scratching your crotch, boob-watching and wanking. Feel free to participate in fist fights or feel virile (read HORNY) all the time because most men believe it's a sign of machismo.

Second, burn the bra. Do sun-bathing the way men do, you don't need to shave your chest or armpit hair. As an added bonus, you get to keep the moustache and the beard.

Do you now feel you have become equal to men?

And why not? Because, sisters, EQUAL is not the same as the word SIMILAR. Maturity lies in embracing the differences with mutual respect. And not by fighting like women are the weaker sex in need of liberation.

True liberation is when YOU believe you are an equal. Not by trying to convince the world that you can do everything men can do. Because, men never try to convince the world that they can do everything that women can do. They don't sulk that they don't get periods or push for pregnancy rights.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

What Elder Brother did in Goa!

Elder Brother got back from IFFI, Goa, recently and came across the perfect prescription for a boys night out. The next best thing to women. Also, cheaper.

Wait for the DVD, get a few strippers home or beer, whatever is easy to handle and suck in the elixir of youth.

Like the line in Just like Heaven goes: "God made Alcohol as a social lubricant. To make men brave and women loose."

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Elder Brother is coming!

Agony Aunts, watch your back.

Elder Brother is here to put an end to the tribe.

From December, you won't need the old hags/Cyrus Broacha/poor cousins.

To report alien activity (in your neighbourhood/school/bedroom/bathroom), assorted unidentified flying objects (in your cup of tea/plate of food/pants), abnormal animal/girlfriend/boyfriend behaviour, phantom menace (ghost trouble, dummy!), the supernatural ("I see dead/wet/undead/undressed people" or whatever) , your kinky fetishes ("I want to see dead/wet/undead/undressed people" or whatever) and fantasies or darkest desires, mental and dental disorders, write to Elder Brother.

No, Elder Brother will not put you out of your agony.

He'll get you used to it.